Saturday, January 15, 2011

Saying Goodbye

Currently Listening To: Shine [Collective Soul]

*Le sigh*

I think the time has come to say goodbye to my friend, Booger. He's a great little guy and so stinkin' cute, but I just don't have the time to spend with him like I used to. He's hardly ever out of his cage anymore, I'm hardly ever home, he's practically begging for attention... With a heavy heart, I decided to post an ad on Craigslist a few days ago in an attempt to find him a better home. The first response to my ad, received about 20 minutes after I posted it, was from a woman who wanted to trade me FOUR FROGS (and their terrarium) for Booger. Um, what? That's pretty sad. Four frogs for my talking, lovable, parrot who actually has a personality? I don't know a whole lot about frogs (I do know that my dogs like to catch them and chew on them) but I don't think they have much of a personality. Four frogs for my bird.... Not gonna happen.


I'm offended at the very notion.

Anyways, I've got to do some praying. I'm not totally set on giving him away, but I have to do what's best for him. Is it better he stay with me, where he's comfortable but not getting the attention he needs and HOPE things change and I can spend more time with him eventually OR he go to a new home with someone who has plenty of time and attention to give him?

I love him to pieces. I just don't know what to do.


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Dating is the devil

I truly suck at this. Actually, there's quite a lot in life that I suck at. But THIS takes the cake. I told you all I'd be writing as often as possible, and just LOOK at what happened. Shocked? I'm not. Typical, fickle, Steph. Starting projects but never finishing them. Yup.

Okay so first thing is first: I'm single again. Yup. Knew it was coming, really. He was a liar with an Oedipus complex, the likes of which I'd never seen in person until 8 months into our relationship. Oi! Talk about a situation I'm glad to be free from... I ended things shortly after they'd "started" again because I caught him red handed in the biggest lie I'd ever heard. So I said goodbye. And

If you're reading this, please take a word of advice from me and CHECK YOUR CREDIT EVERY YEAR. Every single stinkin' year. Because if you don't, and this tale is as true as the day is long, you may find out that back in 2005 someone used your information to lease an apartment and then bail on the lease, thus tarnishing your good name and making it nearly impossible for you to rent an apartment and forcing you to live with your parents at the tender are of 27. TRUE STORY. Living with the parental units at this age is NOT something you want to do. Nope. Not at all. Aaaaaand let me tell you what wonders that little fact happens to be doing for my dating life. Ugh.

Speaking of my "dating life", let me make it clear that I absolutely effing despise dating with a fiery passion. Seriously. I hate it. I am an extremely open and honest person, and I don't play games. But cheese & rice, people! This world is chock full of men who play mind games and are ridiculously hard to get close to. I've been single for (hold up, gotta count) six months now and I decided I was ready to date about a month and a half ago. Not being the type to peruse the local watering hole for a date (ew) I decided to try my hand at online dating. Dear Lord, what a mess that is. Apparently subjecting yourself to online dating means you must be extremely effing desperate and more likely to lower your standards, 'cause every horny tool within a 70 mile radius has sent me a message looking to hook up.... I DONT WANT TO SLEEP WITH STRANGERS! Shiz! I want a REAL relationship! You know, one of those things where you actually like (and eventually love) each other? Where communication and adoration and affection and hot, steamy, primal love-making ABOUNDS? I don't want a relationship right this very second or anything, but I'd like to find the path that is at least going to get me there in a few months/year/whatever.

I have been out with 3 guys since deciding dating was an absolutely amazing (gag me with an overly large spoon) idea.

First there was Youth Pastor. Youth Pastor was very sweet and full of compliments. He played guitar in a band and also at his church, and seemed like a very kind person, but honestly bored the ever lovin' crap out of me and to top it all off, every post of his on Facebook that I read made me automatically hear Eeyore's voice in my head. Oh, so negative, whiney, and self loathing! After he asked me over and over again for almost a week, I gave in and we finally went out for ice cream. While I do love me some ice cream, it was the most boring date EVER. He had virtually nothing to talk about and I felt like I was carrying the conversation at all times. The stories he did share with me went something along the lines of "So I got a DUI in 2008 and have a breathalyzer installed in my car" and "So I got a DUI in 2008 and have a breathalyzer installed in my car" (Sorry, every story he told after the DUI story was overshadowed by that one and that's really all I can remember) ... Total beating. I got home and later told him I just wasn't feeling it. The very next afternoon, after getting tired of the increasing negativing emanating from every single FB post he made, I discreetly deleted him and called it a day. Of course I received the "Why did you delete me?" message that tends to follow moves such as that, but I conveniently forgot to reply with my reasoning. Oops.

A few days later, while sorting through the cesspool of male hormones and toxic waste that made up my online dating inbox, I found a message from a guy that actually had a personality! His humor seemed directly on par with my own and we texted for days and days, and never once ran out of things to talk about. I could tell he had an amazing brain, one I'd have fun picking apart if I ever got the chance. We went out after texting and talking on the phone for a week or two and had a great time. Food, mini-golf, starbucks and LOTS of talking. Decided to have a 2nd date. And a 3rd date. And a 4th date. The morning after 4th date (after he'd FINALLY kissed me), I was grinning from ear to ear on the way to in to work when I heard the familiar tone of a new text message hitting my inbox. I hoped it'd be from him, and sure enough it was. Not just ONE text message, but TWO! Hot damn! I gleefully opened the message and read the first line: "Hey. I know this isn't the kind of message you want to get in the morning..." *gulp* My beautiful little flower of childlike giddiness at the prospect of having a legitimate crush on a guy completely wilted when I read those words. Turns out he just "wasn't feeling it" and things felt "forced and awkward". Could have fooled me. Seemed like he was feeling it quite well when we were making out on his couch the night before... I have to admit that I thought the entire thing was a joke. My reply (and ouch, I feel like an idiot) was "Are we being serious right now?". "Yup". "Ah, okay. Well thanks for your honesty. Have a good Thanksgiving". *facepalm* all the way. I felt like a gigantic idiot as I replayed the previous night's events in my head, dissecting everything I had said and done in an attempt to understand what had gone wrong. By days end I had given up and chocked it up to my general awkwardness and bad dating luck, but I couldn't shake the awful rejected feeling that weighed heavily upon my self esteem that day.

Le sigh.

Dating absolutely blows.

Wow. I am becoming increasingly bitter. Gonna hold off on writing until after I've had some dinner. Seems like the perfect evening to heat up an enchilada and some rice and eat my feelings.


Friday, September 24, 2010

Fabulous Finds Friday: The Brass Candelabras

Lookit! Lookit! Look what I got for a whole $.99 on eBay! Darn tootin' , I sure did say ninety-nine whole cents for two brass candelabras! Technically the shipping was $10, but still, that's a heck of a deal for these things. They're HEAVY for sure. I could definitely crack a skull or two with these inflict serious bodily injury upon someone break something valuable with these things...

Why did I purchase two brass candelabras, you ask? Well, my dears, because I needed me some Halloween decorations for CHEAP that didn't LOOK cheap, ya dig? Sure, Walmart carries plastic Halloween candelabras but who wants those when you can have the real thing, hmmm? Especially when the Walmart candelabras run $14 a piece. No thanks, I'll stick to eBay.

Now, seeing as how I'm squatting at la casa de la parental units for however long, I don't actually have my own house to decorate for Halloween. But I do have my own desk/rather large cubicle at work to decorate, and decorate I shall! The problem is that brass just doesn't scream "HALLOWEEN!" to me, so I decided I'd have to DIY these babies up.

I've been home sick for the past 3 days with an inner ear virus (yup. inner ear VIRUS. I don't know either, so don't ask), which has left me completely off-kilter balance wise. No joke. I've been stumbling all over the place and having to use the wall to support me when I walk around in the mornings. Mmmm vertigo is so much fun! :| Anyways, I figured since I was stuck at home half the week, I might as well do something to occupy my time and my hands. Driving is a no-no when your balance is out of whack, so luckily I had what I needed on hand. Sandpaper, primer, and black gloss spray paint.

I started to sand paper one of the candelabras but got bored halfway through. Something about scratching up the brass offended me on some level I'll never quite be able to verbalize, so I tossed the sandpaper aside. This is probably something I'll come to regret later.

At that point I decided to move on to priming the little beasts, but just as I started to spray the candelabra I hadn't scratched to Hell, the spray primer clogged up on me and refused to work. I took this as a sign that priming just wasn't necessary (mainly because I lack patience and didn't want to put off painting for a day in which I could purchase more primer). Again, this is probably something I will regret later on.

Well, my only option at this point was to paint. And so I did.

Here's one partially finished and resting on the trampoline:

Don't worry, I didn't spray paint it while it was on the trampoline. I know better than that.

Here they both are, almost finished, RESTING on the trampoline

Almost done and lookin' so pretty...
WHAMMY! And we're done!

I apologize for the shoddy quality of that last picture. Bending over triggers the vertigo and while I love sharing my daily adventures with you, and providing up close and personal pictures, I value not vomiting all over myself a whole heckuva lot more. Nothing personal, I promise.

I think they turned out pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. What happens in a few days, I can't quite say, but for now, they look pretty good for the lack of effort I put into it. Tomorrow I'll put on a clear coat, after they've had a chance to air dry overnight. I'm excited to stuff some candles into these suckers and display them on my desk, all cob-webbed up and junk. Oh how I love Halloween.

Stay classy,


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Inner Ear Virus! NO!

I have an inner ear virus. This crap is painful. My balance is totally out of wack; I'm stumbling around like a drunken sailor and I get the room spins like mad. And to top it off, I generally want to punch anything that makes a loud noise right in the face. Good news is I have a friggin' cute pup and a snuggie. See?
Pay no attention to that cracked out look in my eye. I'm a sickie.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

PSA about COLD SORES (aka Mouth HERPES)

Cold Sores. Fever Blisters. HERPES.

*cue Psycho soundtrack*

Don't worry. I'm here to help.

Well loves, I am a carrier of that lovely little virus known as Herpes. No, not the ones below the belt (I don't know what those feel or look like, but if its anything like this, I feel sorry for those Valtrax costumers). The really pretty sores that like to show up out of know where and live...right...on... my face. Specifically on my lips.

If you've never experienced one, consider yourself blessed. If you've never seen one, go Google a picture. I was going to post one here, but after Googling images, I decided it was way too excruciating to put one on my blog. I'd have a big herpes infestation on my page for the next 6 posts or so and really, how attractive would that be? No thanks, I'll pass. Having it on my face is bad enough.

Anyways, those monsters are hideous. They start out as little pimples and within hours multiply into ginormous marble-sized growths attached to your face. They throb. They ooze puss. (Really sexy, no?) And they typically like to hang around for a good two weeks or so. If you're extra lucky, they leave a scar.

I've heard stories of people who are attacked by these things ONCE A MONTH. I would probably have ended my existence a long time ago if this were the case for me, but its not, and that's why I'm still here. No, I come under attack about twice a year. Stress, sunburn and windburn all seem to be attributing factors. If I had myself an emotional meltdown, a few days later I'd feel that familiar tingling on my lips. I'd load up on Carmex, Abreva, anything I could get my desperate hands on to try and get rid of the blisters as soon as possible. NOTHING seemed to work. UNTIL NOW:
No joke. L-Lysine. You find it in the vitamin section of the grocery store. AND IT WORKS! It works like a little tiny miracle in pill form, honest. As soon as I start to get "the tingle", I pop a good handful of these babies and I'm in the clear. No worries, I totally Googled "Lysine overdose" after I took a good 5 or 6 pills out of desperation. Luckily, nothing about Lysine overdoses ever showed up and since Google doesn't lie, I know I'm safe. And you will be too. Trust Google.


Fear no more, mouth herpes sufferers! L-Lysine is a superhero in vitamin form.

Until next time,

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I Love Lamp

Sit right back and I'll tell you a tale about how I got this beautiful $70 lamp that you see in this photo above for a whopping $14! That's right people, FOURTEEN MAGICAL DOLLARS!

You see, it all started one hot September afternoon when I decided to peruse the local Hobby Lobby and see what I could score. Most of you know, at least I assume you must, that Hobby Lobby rotates the items that are 50% off each week/two weeks/what have you. I stopped in and ,much to my surprise, found that this glorious week was the week the lamps were 50% off! Considering I'd been in the market for a couple of new lamps for the boudoir, I figured I'd hit the lighting jackpot! I found a GORGEOUS black and white lamp that I was absolutely certain would be perfect for my bedroom with an original price tag of $69.99. Now normally, a price like this on a lamp that wasn't encrusted with diamonds and doesn't come with a WiFi connection would have broken my heart, but I figured I could totally handle shelling out half that price for this beauty. I looked around for its mate, but it seemed as though someone had snatched it up before I could get there. Bummer, but I dealt with it. I snatched my beautiful lamp up and bounded to the register where I proudly set it on the counter. Just as the cashier was about to ring me up, I took another loving glance at my lamp and gasped! AN IMPERFECTION! ON *MY* LAMP?? Say it ain't so!

Oh but it was. A hairline fracture was smirking at me from the base of the lovely lamp.

*le sigh*

I suppose my earlier, audible gasp of horror had been loud enough to catch the attention of the manager, because she quickly carted herself over to where I was standing and asked what the problem was. I explained to her that the love of my life lamp in question was flawed and there was not another like it in the store. The tiny manager, who was much shorter than I, stood on her tippy toes and grabbed at the price tag attached to the top of the lampshade.

She pondered the price for a moment and then turned to me. "How's $14 dollars sound?"

"$14 sounds absolutely magical! Thank you"

I figure for $14, I can pretty much live with a hairline crack in the base of the lamp. She still works perfectly and is in otherwise great condition. Not to mention, she's purdy.

And that, my friends, is reason #6764 why I love Hobby Lobby.

How can you NOT love Hobby Lobby? Seriously folks, I love me some Hobby Lobby. If you're not already signed up to receive their weekly emails (that include AWESOME coupons), vacate this blog immediately and head over to the Hobby Lobby website and sign up. DO IT. Do it now.

Until next time my loves,

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Mama Cass, is that you?

Currently Listening To: The Sound of Silence [Simon & Garfunkel]

Oh y'all! Look what I've done:

What a crazy, crazy week it has been! Oh my goodness! So much has gone on lately and it has all kept me from being able to blog.

For starters, you can see by the picture that I finally got around to painting the boudoir. Oh how I love turquoise. And oh how I love the black and white damask print that's so popular
right now.

A friend and I painted over labor day weekend. And let me tell you something... painting is not my favorite activity. Nope. Not by a long shot. But its so worth the hassle. I went from having wretched pink walls to beautiful walls of my favorite color. Also spray painted that horrible green mirror a lovely shade of black. I just adore that thing.

Know what else I love? HOBBY LOBBY! Specifically Hobby Lobby's 50% off sales each week. I had been eyeballing this chalkboard calender for a few months but had previously been too cheap to shell out the $40 bucks for it. Found it on sale Tuesday though and decided it was well worth the $20, namely because I am too lazy to make one myself.
Oh and I decided post-picture that trying to write on it while it is hanging on the wall is a bad idea. It makes my handwriting look absolutely terrible! Ack!

Wednesday morning, I awoke to the sounds of tropical storm Hermine leaking through the ceiling of my bedroom at about 5:00 am. THAT was fun, let me tell you. Rain was dripping from the ceiling smack dab in the middle of the room and landing at the foot of my bed. I am SO incredibly thankful I awoke before it saturated my bedclothes and mattress! I was able to pick the mattress and box spring up and shove them against the wall for the time being. I let the parental units deal with the leak. I'm not sure what they did, but I will tell you it smells oddly like an old ham sammich in my room currently. You know, like someone might have tossed a half-eaten sandwich into my room for one reason or another and it has gone undetected by myself and the dogs for two weeks and said sandwich is now stealthily and effectively hiding somewhere in my room while cultivating a farm of mold on itself. I do not eat ham, and I especially do not eat in my bedroom, so I'm not sure why the moldy ham sandwich smell is permeating my room, but I suspect it has a little something to do with Hermine and the leak. I'm sure it goes without saying, but I am less than pleased. Scentsy is doing an amazing job masking the odor, though. My room is now more cinnamon bun-ish than old, moldy ham sandwich-ish. A+ to Scentsy! D minus to me probably inhaling moldy spores of some sort.

Yup. If I drop dead from some mystery illness in the next few weeks or so, point the doctors in the direction of my room and the ham sammich smell, won't you?

Been taking it easy with the boyfriend lately. We're working on our communication skills and how to fill each others' love tanks. It hasn't been easy by any means, but I do know the end result will be worth all the trouble and strife. He's an amazing guy, he's just new to relationships.

Friday he picked me up and took me on a sunset picnic at the pond/lake by his house. It was so romantic! I wish I had of brought my camera with me because just as we finished eating our Subway sammiches, a flock of Canadian geese (why they're this far south, I haven't a clue) flew in right at sunset and chose to land on the water right in front of us. It was such an amazing sight! We were both sitting there slack-jawed and just gawking in amazement. I could kick myself for not having my camera on me! We oohed and ahhed for a good 20 minutes about it.

Once a year, at the end of swimming season, one of the local water parks hosts a "Dog Splash Day". The water park literally goes to the dogs! Owners are free and admission is only $5 per dog. The dogs have free reign of the entire park (minus the slides) and the staff holds contests for the critters to compete in. Saturday the 11th was Dog Splash Day this year and we decided to take full advantage of it.

Zoey, my 6 year old Aussie, has been several times in the past but I decided to bring both girls this time around. We entered Kittie into the talent contest (she won 2nd place) and she enjoyed the attention but otherwise hated being at the park. Never in her 8 years (and 11 & a half months) on this planet has she ever naturally been a water dog, though she does tolerate swimming when we're at the lake on occasion. She really wanted nothing to do with the pool and paced along the pool edge for most of the day. We convinced her to swim and even got both dogs to jump into the pool (against their better judgement) by the end of the day. Whoo hoo! It was a blast and I can't wait to do it again next year. Kittie and I will have to work on some new tricks for the talent contest.

Do not allow yourself to be fooled by the grin on her face. Kittie was not pleased at all.

Zoey on the other hand takes to the water like its 2nd nature. We nearly had to drag her out of the pool to get her to leave.

Today I decided to spray paint the nightstand and I learned the reason why sanding prior to painting is a necessity. More on that later. ♥

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